Sullivan Employs Twinkie Defense

Lawrence Mayor Michael Sullivan, responding to earlier comments made by me with regard to a weight loss competition between us, has now insulted my fondness for one of America’s finest snack foods, the Twinkie. In some impertinent comments at the Valley Patriot website Sullivan said:

“Not only do I accept the challenge to beat Billy Manzi in Latitude’s Biggest Loser Competition, and on his home turf in Methuen, I might add” Sullivan huffed in his office this afternoon, “but I want to up the ante. He has to face me in a bench pressing competition. Let’s talk about ‘who’s chicken.’ Look, Manzi could lose 25 pounds in a week if he just stopped eating a box of Twinkies ever day. Let’s make this a competition that matters,” Sullivan charged. “This isn’t just about weight loss, it’s about fitness and being healthy and staying healthy. I’m sure the guys at Latitude’s would agree with me on that.”

In light of Sullivan’s ability to lift three hundred pounds of dead weight with his head alone I do not believe that weightlifting would be a fair competition. I feel compelled to object strongly to my wife Beth’s involvement in this matter, as I believe she leaked the information on my twinkie consumption to Mayor Sullivan. Well lets have at it! See you at Latitudes. For more information on this event go to www.tommyduggan.com

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6 Responses to Sullivan Employs Twinkie Defense

  1. D.J. says:

    How dare the Mayor of Lawrence attack Twinkies! I’m boycotting Lawrence for a month because of that comment…

    Like

  2. Jules Gordon says:

    Your Honor,
    Challenge mayor Sullivan to a weight lifting contest. The winner (or is that winer) is the person who can lift the most cases of twinkies.

    Prize: Eat all the twinkies he has lifted before going home. I think Beth would have a problem if you brought home full cases.

    Good Luck.

    Jules

    Like

  3. Bill Manzi says:

    Thank you Jules. I will have reports about the “weigh in” sometime Saturday.

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  4. Deborah Quinn says:

    Bring this event to the basketball court lets see who can get the most hoops loser buys the twinkies

    Like

  5. Daniel Ford says:

    An unconfirmed rumor has Bill Manzi hiring Ed Smolak as his personal trainer.

    Like

  6. Bill Manzi says:

    Ed Smolak? I thought he was Tom Duggan’s trainer!

    Like

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